Relationships between couples should be a source of joy and comfort — individuals in healthy relationships often feel supported and cared for. However, relationships are not without problems – even healthy and supportive relationships can be complicated.
To help couples maintain a healthy relationship, a professional psychologist can offer couples therapy that addresses the main pain points in the relationship and provide strategies for the couple to work through these issues together and individually.
It’s not uncommon for couples of all ages, at all stages of their relationship, to attend relationship therapy. In fact, it’s something that can be attended even if you’re not facing a particularly distressful relationship – couples therapy is extremely valuable and insightful for even the most loving of partnerships.
While no relationship is completely frictionless, there are some key signs that may be pointing to a need for couples counselling.
1. Frequent and intense arguments
Arguments are one of the most common forms of conflict in a couple’s relationship. However, when arguments start increasing in frequency and intensity, they can result in a significant negative impact on the health of a relationship. Any escalation of arguments between a couple is also often a sign of bigger issues, such as poor communication, or a lack of mutual understanding.
2. Emotional withdrawal
Emotional withdrawal is when either side of the relationship (or both) begin to hide their emotions from the other, refusing to reveal them – whether intentionally or not. This is potentially damaging to the relationship as the formation of emotional barriers can result in a breakdown of intimacy between the couple, making the relationship feel stilted or isolating.
Understanding why one partner may be withdrawing is key to getting past this stage in a relationship – something that can be effectively managed by a professional relationship counsellor.
3. Trust issues
Not being trusted or having trust in your partner is a sign that perhaps counselling could be beneficial. As the old adage goes, relationships are built on trust. Once trust has been breached by either party, it can have a lingering impact on the health of the relationship for a long time, until it can be rebuilt. If left unaddressed, trust issues can lead to more serious conflicts and behaviour in the relationship.
4. Stress from life circumstances
Big changes in life circumstances of either partner in a relationship can create stress and conflict. Changes such as being fired from a job, moving to a new country, or parenthood can cause tension between couples, negatively impacting the relationship. The inability to come to an agreement about the outcome of a situation can push couples apart, damaging the relationship.
5. Unresolved past issues
Unresolved issues or conflicts cause a lot of havoc on relationships – we’ve all been there. Many couples choose to simply bury conflicting issues they have with their partner, instead of confronting the issue head-on. As a result, the unresolved issue becomes a ticking time bomb that builds up over time, causing tension, resentment, and friction.
6. Difficulty with physical intimacy
Physical intimacy is a core part of a healthy relationship that helps couples foster closeness and connection. Any problems with physical intimacy between a couple can cause feelings or thoughts of loneliness and frustration to develop, which can in turn, be a source of tension.
There are psychologists that specialise in helping couples get past physical intimacy issues, providing effective and simple strategies to reconnect.
7. Financial conflicts
Finances are a touchy topic for some couples — research shows that conflicts that arise from decisions around finances are one of the most commonly faced in relationships. Partners that cannot reach a common ground on how to spend, save, and manage money often experience friction in the relationship that will almost certainly benefit from professional counselling.
How does couples therapy help?
There’s undoubtedly a stigma attached to couples therapy – many think that if you’re seeing a relationship therapist, that there is something seriously ‘wrong’ with the relationship or that you’ve failed as a couple. However, couples therapy is not just used to ‘fix’ broken relationships — it’s all about learning and using the tools to promote a healthy, balanced relationship.
Couples therapy works by giving the opportunity for couples to air out their thoughts and feelings about the relationship in a safe and mediated environment, where the conversation is guided by a professional psychologist who helps to strike a balance between partners. It’s not a way to prove if one side of the relationship is right, but rather to help each side better understand the other, for a healthier relationship.
Restore your relationship with couples therapy at CFHP
At CHFP, our couples therapy and marriage counselling services are conducted by our team of culturally-diverse local Brisbane psychologists that can help you protect and restore your relationship with your partner. To learn more about our relationship counselling services, get in touch with our friendly team today.
